EEEvil
"Rrrrraaaaapaaaadooooo!!!!" Eeevil is a poster on the Something Awful forums. EEEvil the wrestler is a woman who acts like John Cena or maybe is John Cena? Maybe she's a clone or something? Who knows, it's the future. In LPFWA Season 2 After a backstage interview in which she affirmed her commitment to overcoming all of the odds, EEEvil made her debut in a match against fellow newcomer Divine Coffee Binge. True to her word, EEEvil got the worst of it for most of the match before winning off of a random submission. EEEvil's next match was against Cutie McFluffybottom to establish the number one contender for the Kawaii Championship. Before the match there was a discussion about cupcakes that I assume was important for some reason. In the ring, the two seemed to be evenly matched until EEEvil was able to land her patented Five Moves of Doom©®™ and dominated the match from that point, winning by pinfall after a second Five Knuckle Shuffle. The title match against Aurora was fairly one sided, with EEEvil hitting lots of big moves and even an early Attitude Adjustment. Aurora seemed like she might have a chance to reverse the momentum after using some form of teleportation attack, but EEEvil was able to score the pin after hitting the First Three Moves of Doom. EEEvil would go on to defend her title once in a rematch against Cutie McFluffybottom during the International Food Throwdown before losing 2-0 in a 2-out-of-3 falls match against newcomer Pvt. Scott. After another victory over Cutie McFluffybottom, EEEvil got a chance to regain the title in a match against Aurora, who had beaten Scott with the help of Paul Heyman and Sgt. Slaughter at the Anime PPV. EEEvil managed to beat the odds in what looked like a losing match with an Attitude Adjustment so powerful it warped time and space, allowing her to get the pin while time was stopped. Special Moves & Finishers Flying Shoulder Block "As self-explanatory as it is punishing. EEEvil breaks into a full sprint, taking flight when she reaches top speed and using her body as a projectile weapon to knock the wind out of her opponent. You’ll believe a woman can fly, though you’ll likely wish you didn’t get the up-close view." - wwe.com Five Knuckle Shuffle "Pausing to administer her signature “You Can’t See Me” taunt to the prone opponent, EEEvil then bounces off the ropes, struts her way toward said foe, brushes some dirt off her shoulder and — pow, right in the kisser — drops a closed fist on her enemy’s face." - wwe.com STF "Short for Stepover Toehold Facelock. This hold is performed on an opponent who is lying face down on the mat. A wrestler grabs one of the opponent's legs, and places the opponent's ankle between her thighs. The wrestler then lies on top of the opponent's back and locks her arms around the opponent's head. The wrestler then pulls back stretching the opponent's back, neck, and knee." - Wikipedia Attitude Adjustment A variation on the Fireman's Carry Powerslam. EEEvil hoists her opponent onto her shoulders in a fireman's carry position, then flips them over and slams them on their back. Non Royal Rumble Record